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It’s travel and vacation time- the time of the year when the dreaded four word question, “Are we there yet,” is asked repeatedly until you want to jump out of the car window. My husband’s retort to the children was always, “Is the car still moving?” That was the cue that they better sit quietly and look out at the passing scenery instead of attempting to make him crazy.
Are we there yet? Interesting that we are always in such a hurry to get, ‘there.’ Even as adults, we’re no different. We believe that ‘there,’ has to be better than, ‘here.’ And, we apply the same thinking in terms of our physical and emotional health and wellness.
Are we there yet? Often, when things in life aren’t going as we hope, we just want to rush to the end result of feeling different. “I just need to lose all of this weight,” or, “I want to feel better about myself,” or, “I just want to be in love with a great person.” We focus only on the different way of feeling instead of considering our journey and the process of achieving the goal.
The problem with simply focusing on the end result is that often the goal is a pretty lofty one, and because achieving it takes so much effort, we lose hope and the patience to accept that change happens a little at a time. ‘There,’ seems unattainable. The destination seems too far away, so we quit in the middle. When we begin to lose momentum, that’s a sign that it is time to change our thinking; it’s time to refocus on the joy of taking the journey, not the destination. Our personal journey is accomplished a step at a time just as a long road trip is accomplished a mile at a time.
The poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Life is a progress, and not a station.” We progress slowly through change and growth. We take steps forward and sometimes backward before we find ourselves moving forward once more. Sometimes, when the work is especially difficult or challenging, we need to stop for a time and rest. Taking a break and focusing on something else for awhile is the best way to clear our heads and hearts so we can renew our efforts. It’s not unlike pulling over to the side of the road when you’ve driven for hours and need to stretch your legs and rest your eyes.
Are we there yet? When we constantly look at the end of things, we miss so much. For today, try to concentrate on where and how you are just in this moment. When you bring your concentration into the here and now, you might find that you can relax a bit and stop worrying about things. It takes practice and it’s not easy to stay in the moment and not look so far into the future, but it’s worth it to calm your thoughts and look at things as they are today. Try to discover the simple pleasure that hides in today instead of constantly wishing things to be different.
Life is not better ‘there,’ it’s just different. Besides, you can’t really get to a new and better place until you’ve done a thorough job in determining where you are right now. Once you clearly define the starting point of who you are and what you need, it’s easier to determine what changes need to be made to get you where you truly wish to be. So, plan your road trip and begin your journey.
There are resources and professionals to help you meet your goals and coach you on your way to getting, ‘there.’ So, look at the scenery; take in the view. Ask questions. You’ll find what you need as you travel along. Oh, and the answer to the question, “Are we there yet,” is, “No.” Because, the truth is, when you get, ‘there,’ it becomes, ‘here.’ Just sit back and enjoy the ride!
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