As Good As Can Be Expected

By Holly Dietor, Reiki Master and Practiioner

The other day, I happened to overhear two women discussing a mutual friend. When one asked the other how the friend was doing, she dropped into a sad whisper and answered, 'Well, considering the circumstances and all he's been going through, he's as good as can be expected.' They passed by and I went my way.

All day long, that smattering of conversation kept circling back in my thoughts and it has me wondering. As good as can be expected'is that it? Is that the key? Could it really be that simple yet critical? In life and wellness could our expectations really be the point between success and failure? The difference between satisfaction and disappointment?

We all have examples of both extremes of expectation in the people who are part of our lives. We have the ones who will never accept no for an answer; they never lose sight of their goal no matter how far-fetched it might seem. When others tell them that it's impossible, they just push harder. We have friends and loved ones who are miracles because they've beaten diseases or lived longer than medical science expected. On the other hand, there are others that no matter how wonderful things are for them, they never seem satisfied. And, still there are others who, when life is going well for them, seem almost fearful that things will come crashing down at any moment.

Perhaps it does come down to our expectations of our health and wellness, and also of what sort of people and circumstances we expect in our lives. I find that this idea is pretty frightening to many because it means that we have to take responsibility for what we have and our goals. It would mean that we couldn't any longer feel powerless, a victim of our circumstances. Instead, we would have to develop the skills to be the masters of our own destiny. It would mean that we become keenly aware that we create our life and not just have it handed to us however it comes. It would require taking stock of life, just as it is now, and working to nurture it or change it to fit expectations.

A long time ago, my father said, 'People will treat you no better than you expect them to treat you.' There's that word again'expect. Still later when I was going through a bad period feeling that no matter how good I treated everyone, they never seemed to return the same, a wise friend said, 'Don't train the monkey in a way that you don't want it to behave. If you want something from someone, you have to be clear and communicate it. Don't expect anyone to read your mind, or expect them to keep doing it their way if you don't start telling them.' Wow. You mean I have to develop the courage and skills to tell someone exactly what I want and need? Yes! You mean I have to be clear about my expectations of myself and others? YES!

If your life is exactly the one you want, then take time to celebrate it and be grateful for it. If you want your life to be different, set your expectations and realize that you can dare to want more, better, and bigger. Take an honest look at it as it is right now; consider what you want to keep and what you want to change. Then formulate your plan to begin changing it. Look for people and resources to help you as you go.
You are the author of your life story, the painter of your picture. Dare to dream more and think bigger! Learn to have high expectations and begin the work to manage those expectations. Dream! Expect great things! Ask bigger questions and you will get bigger answers. Expect miracles! Your life is yours for the creation. After all, what do you expect?