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I’m
not a veterinarian or
someone who even pretends to
know much about medical
conditions as they relate to
a dog, or any animal for
that matter. In other words,
I’m just like most of you
reading this. This I do
know, one of the hardest
decisions I’ll ever make is
when to put my almost 17
year old mutt to sleep.
I
know there are countless
articles written about the
subject and another thousand
people who would be more
than willing to lend me
their opinions on it. But
the bottom line is, like
dealing with any family
matter, sometimes you just
have to go with your heart.
My
once active pup now
struggles to stand for long
periods of time, paces as
she fights the effects of
Alzheimer’s, can’t hear
anything other than a high
pitched whistle, and is
becoming less and less
reliable to make it outside
in time. All of these
criteria, in books, are
signs that it might be time.
However, she eats well,
seems to be in no pain,
hasn’t started snapping at
people and still wants to be
around any human being in
the house rather than lay
alone. In those same books,
signs it might not be time.
I try
to forget the cost and
sometimes hassle (a 2am
carpet cleaning) of keeping
her alive versus not ~ I
think that’s only fair. So
money and frustration aside,
when is it really time?
As I see her back leg give
out while she’s eating,
forcing her to finish the
last morsels while lying
down, I think it’s time. And
then I see the food gone
from the dish, her getting
excited for dessert and
still frisky enough to try
and steal her doggy
brother’s treat as well.
As I pick up the trail of
poop from the kitchen to the
doggie door, I think it’s
time. But then I watch the
next few times as she
quickly (for a 17 year old
dog) scampers down the ramp
and out the door to urinate.
As I
carry her up long flights of
steps I think back to her
younger years and her
bounding all over the house,
and I think it must be time.
But then I watch her
peacefully sleep next to our
bed, snuggled up in her
blankets, through the night,
perfectly content.
As I
come into the house and have
to wake her up to announce
that I’m home rather than
see her jumping up and down
with excitement, I think
it’s time. But then I hear
and see her following me
around the house everywhere
just begging to be pet or
held or handed a treat ~
just like when she was a
pup.
I’ve
decided what might make the
decision easiest is to put
myself, yes, me the human,
in her place. When I reach
that age in my life, when
will I want to be put to
sleep? Will it be when I’m
occasionally having trouble
getting around and almost
making it to the toilet?
Will it be just because I
struggle to hear or see
things that used to be so
clear? Will it be because it
costs a few more dollars
each month to keep me alive?
I
don’t think there are any
easy answers to this age old
question. What I do know is
that I’m sure far too many
people selfishly wait too
long to make the decision,
or don’t wait long enough
out of aggravation and cost.
The
time is coming, I know, but
my heart tells me it’s just
not here yet. What I hope is
that when the moment does
come, as I listen to her
heart come to rest, I’ll do
so knowing in mine it is the
right time.
Jon Buzby’s columns have
appeared in over thirty
newspapers and magazines
around the country as well
as numerous websites. He is
also a frequent public
speaker and has written two
books. He can be contacted
at
JonBuzby@hotmail.com or
302-562-8773. |
