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Woman's Stress Diet

This is specially formulated diet designed to help woman
Cope with the stress that builds up during the day.

Breakfast
1 Grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1-cup skim milk

Lunch
Small portion lean, steamed chicken
A cup of spinach
1-cup herbal tea
1 Hershey Kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Kisses in the bag
1 tub Hagen Daas Ice Cream with Choc. Chip topping

Dinner
2 loaves Garlic bread
1 Family size Supreme Pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
Whole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake
(Eaten directly from the freezer)

Diet Rules

1. If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories.

2. When drinking a diet coke with a chocolate bar, the diet
coke cancels out the sugar in the chocolate bar.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if
you do not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medical purposes does not count (e.g.: Hot
chocolate, toast, cheese cake with cherries).

5. It you fatten up the people around you, you will look
thinner.

6. Movie Theater related foods have zero calorie count,
as they are part of the entertainment package and not
counted as food intake. This includes popcorn, snocaps,
and ice cream.

7. Cookie pieces have no calories because breaking the
cookies up causes calorie leakage.

8. Foods licked from spoons and forks have no fat if you
are in the process of cooking something.

9. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to
gravity and the density of the calorie mass.

10. Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as
it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to
his/her plate.

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